How have you been lately ? Just want you to know . I see you're living well and happily .
You have brought differences not like before . I'm relieved to see your breathing spaces are wide .
This year is 2012 and yet it is SPM year . How are your studies been doing ?
Haha , Sure everythings fine .
I've changed tuition days . So i maybe can't see how you've been doing . Past months , January , February and March was the only time i can peek on you . I rather stay that tuition for 3 months alone just to see you . I see your friend brought the old you back on form .
Smiling , Joking and Serious studying . Hmmmm ~ Thats you .
I Love to stay alone behind and look at the front . Trying to focus on lessons and hope nobodys sitting with me . Now i wont be on that schedule , i've changed to thursday BM and monday BI .
Don't worry . I know my position , i will hide or disappear myself if i saw you .
I know you've been living well ,thanks for inviting me to join the methodist church before . But i cant , because i've my own reason .
You see ~ Since you participate that group .. Your relationship with Nicholas has been close neither you knew many new friends too . Such as Cheah Jing Ho , Zhi Ying etc .
I'm honest to say i'm glad that you never forget me even what've happend on us .
Hence , You sure did a good job this year . You changed alot. PEACE ~ =)
Sorry for been so no manners to talk to you last time .
I'm really sorry to have broken everything .
Sincerely i wanna reveal that , I really now changed too . I know how to think properly and make my own decision well . We haven't talk for half years . Many things you missed up .
But still , i'm holding the right place in my life . I started to mix friends that study well and organize some good programmes . I love to talk to them . Formost older friends , please ...you may know what i'm saying . But i'm not PAI KIA .
Now i start by at school sitting alone , and do what i want ... Nobody cares about my problem . So i can concentrate . Nobody disturb me anymore ; such as ... calling me out for tea , go TS watching movies and hanging in cyber cafe's . I blow their invitation . I screwed them up . That makes me like "invincible" infront their eyes . Good friends last time , Now turn "invincible" everywhere they saw me , they do like they see nohin' - Nothin' . Haha ~ Wherever i sitting alone , there wont be anyone beside me . Coz they say i'm acting bitchy .
Ony Jeffz ( not juz jeff) know how i'm feeling . He once told me .. " King Han , Stop EMO d ~ You this fai chaii come lets go hang out , maybe your mood will be better " I smiled . At least theres someone know my appearance .
Plus , Our muii muii ~ ( Maxx )
Always got time will chat with me . I didn't tell so much what happend about me and you . I just help to accompany her whenever she's not in the mood . I bu she de see her moody . She very stupid ,Always think negatively . But still , i won't let her think negative . I wll help what i can ~ Her emotion , is still a job to handle . I'm holding a name as a BROTHER .
I'll tell you what she is like .... Everytime she no mood she will come and tell me . I also wish to know why she moody . Not fan , is i sim tia see she like that . She also had the same problem like me . But her's is better . She's not that risky . She's just grudges to see her future . Everytime if got go out with her , She sure want belanja me . I dunno why =.=" . Naughty . That day "chut iu" somemore shock me , buy 100 plus for me indeed i already got a bottle of Barlie which my mum do . But still i drink the 100 plus . Muii ~ Thanks ya . I owe you a dozen .
This word THANKS really is qualified to tell her , with no one cares me like you did before .. now appeared a little girl which named as my sister helps me , comfort me and advised me . I really appreciate the appearance of this little girl.
Muii ~ Thank you . Gambatehh at life . Ah Gorr beside you !! :P
Skip the roller coaster ...
Dear ex ,
I wish that all hurts that i hurt you are just adopted wound . I hope its not that deep . But i know its a little to late to say not deep . If not because of me ... Till now you wont block me till earth touches sun .
I know what i should do , But heart beat is not as fast a your legs running .
Now i say ... I'm Sorry .
Sorry for my everything . For no manners , no controlling temper and outrageous behavior .
I will be taking years to heal my hurt . I'm not joking and not pretending . What i want you to know is ~
- There's not gonna be anyone that can replace you .
Though i'm wasting my time telling my innocence . But first i want you to know that ...
I've been making this APOLOGIZE for six months .
Since the day we broke , I started by crying and making silly things .
But on January , I try to fight my weakness and defend my hard days till now , I've complete . But for me its still late .
But whatever i do for you .... I'll be doing it seriously .
Pei Shan ~
我不应该怎么对你，每个男生都会酱说话分时.... 但我不会开口认错 .
可是我是真的很想说 “我不舍得你”
On The day you left Taiping for Singapore , You already know i will hate you leaving .
But you have no choice because thats your family desicion .
The day when you took me to Sitiawan with Kenny. You told me you'll be leaving to Singapore . On that time , i get scrumbled so you din see why i change topic talking with you?
I was injured by the news . But slowly in my mind , i told myself "She was just joking,Forget it"
This how i kept myself to avoid that injury confront my work .
Your sis Annie told me you left Taiping already when working , I open my eyes wide and turn other place .
And change topic talking to Annie . She smiled at me and said "她会回来的啦，干嘛？想她了啊？"
I said no . Then say "她不用回来跟好!" i use this to cover from people knowing my sadness .
Then i go to the toilet and cry .
My eyes get red when i came back to work , my friend ask ... " Your eyes red,din have enough sleep? "
She always comfort me and accompany me since then . Till one day , you don't know ... She gets too close with me , I just realize ~ So form that day on , i doesn't wanna talk to her anymore .
Then one day , you came back ... You sms me , "Get ready to see your ugly loupo bar "
Annie jie ~ Came downstairs and told me ... You were coming to find me at The Store .
I said " Oooh , I Know d " . Then i ask the girl to come with me and ask her be beside me .
I was pretending you will see me talking with girl you will how ? How i know ~ You din saw me .
Annie come downstairs for recess time , she mainly talked to me that did i saw you just now . I said " I dunno , I'm working "
The reason i do this is because i want people to know that i'm happy working so people doesn't know i actually miss you so deeply .
Christmas is coming ...I prepared a present after my salary was out . I find a jacket that suits you all around The Store. I asked Annie before that what present you like the most ?
I told her i want to buy you a Sony Ericsson X2 Mini Pro worth rm599 . Annie stricly scold me. I get shocked . She ask me not to buy such worthy and expensive present . Present will be worthy if you are honest , The honest will make the present even expensive she said . I told her i just want to have the same level as her friend. All your friend are using touchscreen phone , so i mention you a touchscreen phone .
Annie says again that , she doesn't need to have the same quallity as her friend ~ She say your phone was a gifted by your late father . She says you love using your current phone.
Nevermind , Wait when i'm big I'll get you a better present I confronted !
Its Christmas day , I've been waiting so long . All my friends knew the present i bought even Annie . I was so excited to give you .
Soon , I sms your mum . She says you were at KL . *My phone droped* I was so shocked . It was just like heart broken . I comfort myself and say ~ Its okay . I can give her this present next week . =')
Annie came to me when work time is over ... She urgently came to me . " Hey , Pei shan is in the car ! Go find her and give her your present " I walked with Annie on the corner of the road . I saw your car , I saw your mum and bro together with a pretty lady siting inside the car . If it wasn't you then who was it ?!!!
I walked away and told Annie " Goodbye , See You tomorrow "
She replied " Aiyor ~ Don't Sad . Haha. People don't want you anymore "
I get into my dad's car. Rub my eyes . And hope i'am dreaming .
Back home then .... I called you for countless times . I get mad , I threw the phone , Continuosly phone you again . Finally , You make a moved.
You sms me " My auntie know our relationship, For now ... We don't contact first bar"
Then i want to wish you Merry Christmas so i want you to pick up the phone.
Ok.
You've picked up.
You talked like i'm bothering you and you sounds like killing someone .
You told me a horror sentence " Stop till here , We break d . Don't Find me anymore ... Sorry "* Hang up the phone *
My heart told my brain " Its over boy ~ Its over "
Days later , I suffer high fever and dried cough.
My eyes get blur so easy . Not saying how pity i am please.
Because i didn't have enough sleep at all and always drink beer so much . So i've been sick for a month till January ends.
辛 苦 .
-
I still never give up and doesn't believe that news .
I still fought hard to find you , even you argue to me . I still wont give up .
Its ok if you don't wanna reply my messages but just let me write you something on message. I don't care if you act like you're not there .
But my words are worth more than my life .
You told me a word that kills me . Its like a sword nip in me .
The word 烦 .
You know what ? I still don't care .
You won't give up no matter how evil your mouth is .
I find supports from friends , they give me energy to carry on.
Kai Xin came to accompany me ,she told me to explain everything....
I cant hold on , once she ask me to explain... The first move , My tears fell to my lapfirst.
I keep on crying on the phone . I'm so weak . She say " Release it all , cry bar~ Don't scare I'm here "
So , i told her ~I mafan her to ask me to tell you that i'm sorry. Till then so many people asked you how we could have broke... by then Nicholas told me too. "If you din cry for so deep and so long i say you have puppy relationship, Don't cry ~ One day , she will understand you... Just wait "
So many friends give me fate. They comfort me, i get better and better when months have flew .
I'm learning to walk again ~
In the end , your gun finally reload a bullet .
You block me on facebook. I cant see you anymore ...I told my friend , he say he wanna help me . I don't know how he help ~ But he hack your FB and add me back then he sms me told me " gao tim , i use her fb add you back d . Kayao " I thought i feel better now , but seems it makes your fire even bigger .
So in school i find my friend , without talking first I scold him and punch him. We fought till forces the other friends to seperate us fighting away . I get hurt and angry so much . Even i fought hard and loses . My friend ambushes me " Its you who ask me to help you ! And now i help you , how dare you came and punch me !" I say sorry and drive myself away.
I Know i lied you much . But what i lied ? I worry you will too care and scold me. So i lied . I wanna work . Why i wanna work ? To get money ? Why i wanna get money ? Cuz i want go out with you . I thought you wont know , but Zhang Rui tell you that he saw me work .
Because i don't wanna make you worried i will shut my mouth and wont tell you .
Then , i lied you again .. I told you i wont go tuition so don't wait for me . I thought you will guai guai study at tuition , but i still can figure out 1 day without you . So i still wanted to go for tuition . One day i din see you ? Please.... I Cant. I Must see you everyday.
I get sia pai ~
My name Leon became worst . Nobody respect me and wanna talk to me anymore.
Bythen only few ... One of them are Maxx , Rui Zhan and few more.
They show me a living path . Ask me to not give up in life . If you really love her than you must be PATIENT . - Yes boss , I'm waiting . =) I can wait how long too .
And you see now , The one you love the most before is now here .
Obviously , is my fault .
I hope to change what i am .
I regret what i do ?
Please believe me one more time .
I'm your 8th . And the last one .
I'm the first one to make you wearing a wedding ring .
And i'm the first will die with you .
Please , will you forgive me ?
After you see this video i've made .
I wanna tell you that thru our six months love .
I've learn alot and cherish love even deeper .
I sometimes din eat and even sleep late just to find some ideas .
I've taken totally six months also to complete this video .
Without hard work , There will be no success .
"我是真心的弄给你，不是特地的弄给你 "
Pei Shan ~ I hope you will return to me .
I will give you time , but dearest ... I will work hard to stay alive .
Friends that gives me faith , Thanks For Your trust . I will remember you guys ~
Notably :
Nicholas - Believe me , Chase her back . I know you two love very deep.
Maxx - Very hard to find such good eh girl .i dun hope u both hav anythg happen cuz u both deserve the best. Kayao !! .D'nie - Don't think so much k ? Slowly talk to her don't rush her she will be more fan .
Suki - Don't hurt yourself if you wanna hurt yourself then you don't deserve to be with her !
Lyanne - Its better you take her as best friend .
Yumi - 翰翰！爱情不是无所谓的，你要确定你的真爱是要给谁...真爱只给一个人不是两位.
Annie - 现在你勤劳的读书先，再来讲paktor ~
Wylip - I dunwan see you like this . Now you look like weak . You ok d then come back talk to me .
Louis - You break ? How come ? Last time i see you sweet sweet de mar , why suddenly break ?
Catherine - Wei le anything , ANYTHING you will listen to her ?! Tell me you can DO IT !
Sean Hui - Give her time ~
Loh Sunrise - Find new one lahh ~
Rui Zhan - 你只弄自己siapai如果你追到她，她很你的，伤你的，排气你的～难道你没想过你的痛苦？
Jenise Goh - Ah Han ~ You love your ex too deep le , i know you fang bu xia her de ~
Rui Hong - 我也单身～ 我们一起单身不好咩？
CK Jun - Ah Han ~ ni ok ma ?
Weng Khai - Bro , 爱情不能永远的～为了爱一个人你会去自杀啊？！S*hai !
Yee Wah ~ 我能帮你，但这是你的期於. 要誠實,自己来比较好 .
Adrian Chuah - 不要给我听到，你会输给爱.
Ahh Kam - Break jiu break , you break bu qi ? want go do stupid thing ? i never heard like this before .Please laa , wake up . People hate you d. You cannot love her if she hate you.
Fmly Kai - 去追回她，你的膽很感人.
Ah Yang - 虽然我不会爱，但我会珍惜有爱.
Jonathan Chuah - True Love Is Not easy to find , once you create true love . You will learn how to love deeper
Carson CT - Be Brave , Stay Ahead . Gambateh .
Ivan Lam - I support who you love , if you love her then go find her before its too late !
Exiled Hao - Harr ? You break d ? Haha , I know ~ You want to fu he ... You sure is regret d ...
LiQii - You din scare siapai ? You such a brave boy . I'm proud of you . Must remember good luck.
Mizuz Shan - Why will like dat ? Tell me what happend
Ying Ying - 分手干嘛要去刻手？你好笨哦！
Ah Keong ~ 走, 喝酒
Rhymiie - Love Is Easy But To Forget Is Hard .
Jeffz I'Dontgiveadamn - If you fu he edy , remember . Don't repeat your mistakes . You wont have a final chance anymore .
Farhana - Aku baru jer nak tanye pasai kak ipar . So i guess you wont be fine now ? Sorry to ask you this question .
Janice - Oiii , Kns lu . Stop emo d laa ~ Past just let it past .
亮少 - 你不怕给她讨厌死？
Yip Wayne - Love is never gonna be forever. First of all , Men are the first to be blamed .
No Entry - 做么你不会好好的爱她？你现在后悔是没用的
Hong Tian - 看你的伤我也会跟着不爽，别伤心了～你休息先吧
Zs Leong - She's not an easy people to handle , mistakes are left to you .
Sad Bee - Thats why i choose to wait , i didn't trust love to easy . I will wait for my true love .
Wilson - Don't give up . I hope you and her will last forever .
Andy Looi - Sorry because last time . I won't disturb your gf anymore. I promise . Lets be friends bacl...
Elise Yan - You must trust her ~ Her happiness are in your hand . Don't forget she just need your love not need your money .
Pei Ting ( My sis ) - Han... Suan le ba~ Make this as apart of your lesson . Next time show me teh one you love .Tell me before you start paktor . I Don't want see you get hurt . I believe she's the one inside your heart only .
Hui San - I jealous your love with her . Your Hate Is Your Love , Your Love Is Your Love. She's not your girlfriend but is your wife . Give her time to clam down , she will decide soon because She Love You Very Much.
Thanks all my friends , very thanks so much . I will always keep this in heart .
I will 加油！！！！
